


when did this begin? (a question i will never solve)

by justpig



Series: stray kids oneshots [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mina from TWICE makes an appearance, Rated T for language, felix isn't in this first part i'm so sorry D:, i had no ideas for the title so, it's a con artist au, mentions of woojin, part 2 is (probably) a go ahead, relatively platonic?? although some ships are hinted at, so does Jooheon from Monsta X
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 15:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14358639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpig/pseuds/justpig
Summary: “Such a shame, though. I wish my boss was that nice.”“Hey! I’m not that bad, am I?”“I wasn’t talking about you, jeez!” Minho quickly swerved to avoid the slap Chan had sent his way. “You’re not the only undercover agent here, you know.”Chan raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, how could I ever forget our beloved Lee Know?” He said dryly.“I’m honoured to be recognized by the almighty Bang Chan himself.”-Alternatively, the Con Artist!AU you never thought you needed (and probably don't).





	when did this begin? (a question i will never solve)

**Author's Note:**

> hI yes welcome to this mess of a oneshot,,, i really just wanted to write smth for this concept okay  
> FELIX AND WOOJIN ARE HARDLY IN HERE WHICH MEANS YALL ARE PROBABLY GETTING A PART 2 HELL YEAH  
> and uh there might be some inconsistency bc i didn't edit this at all lMao rip  
> but yes here you go!! enjoy!!!

“I’m sorry sir, I really can’t make it today.”

Chan feigned a grimace even though he knew the man on the other end couldn’t see him. Perhaps he’d hear it instead. “I think I might’ve eaten something bad yesterday - but I suppose I could ask my friend to give me a ride -”

“No!” Chan’s mouth curled up into a grin upon hearing the man’s reaction. “That’s fine, Byung Chan. You’ve done an excellent job this past month. Be sure to nurse yourself back to health soon; I’m sure the general atmosphere will feel a lot less - how to put this - intellectual without your presence. But if you could just send me that assignment from yesterday…”

“Of course. I’ll have it handed in by noon.”

“Perfect. Get better, Byung Chan.”

The grin was still plastered on Chan’s face when he hung up. Minho looked at him begrudgingly. “Well that’s an awfully nice fellow. Don’t you feel bad for conning him?”

Chan shrugged. “Being nice to your comrades doesn’t condone your actions when you continuously rob innocent people of their fortune.”

“Fair point.” Minho sighed as he sifted through the series of scattered papers littered across the table; Chan recognized the one the boy was currently holding as the news article Woojin had printed for him to see the previous day. “Such a shame, though. I wish my boss was that nice.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad, am I?”

“I wasn’t talking about you, jeez!” Minho quickly swerved to avoid the slap Chan had sent his way. “You’re not the only undercover agent here, you know.”

Chan raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, how could I ever forget our beloved Lee Know?” He said dryly.

“I’m honoured to be recognized by the almighty Bang Chan himself.”

As Minho said this, the door to the office they were occupying opened, revealing a startled Jisung (likely due to Minho’s sudden appearance; Jisung had been in this room just five minutes ago and Minho had had yet to appear then), a file tucked underneath his arm. “I hate to break the lovely conversation you two are having here, but here’s the file you asked for, Chan.”

“Just in time.” Chan clicked his tongue in satisfaction. The sheaf of papers contained all the information they’d gathered on the man Chan had been talking to mere seconds before, and Chan’s fingers were already drumming with anticipation at the thought of the heist they were to pull that evening.

Flipping through the pages, he noticed Minho’s curious stance - eyes wide, leaning forward, hands in his lap. Chan couldn’t help but note how similar he looked to an excited puppy; clearly he wanted to know what Chan was holding.

“This isn’t even your case,” Chan had said with a chuckle, making Minho frown.

“Who says it has to be my case for me to know what’s happening? I don’t know about you, but I prefer to have a wide range of knowledge on the criminals in our city.” Chan rolled his eyes, but passed the sheets over to the boy nonetheless.

Jisung looked a bit miffed. “Oh come on, Chan. Really? He asked once and he gets to view confidential information? I put time and effort in putting all that information together! I might as well get my work published if I wanted this to go public!”

“It’s not like it’s confidential to us,” Minho retaliated, his eyes still trained on the text. “Also you should probably pair evidence pictures to their description. Don’t just group all the photos together at the end. It’s harder to keep track of what’s what that way.”

Jisung was definitely miffed now. “What - seriously? Chan, are you hearing this?” Gaping, he looked between the two older boys in disbelief. “You’re just going to let him tell me how to do my job? This isn’t - !”

Chan shrugged at the boy’s protests. “We could all use a little constructive criticism every now and then.”

The distressed expression on Jisung’s face was enough to make both Minho and Chan laugh hard enough to attract further attention. Changbin stumbled in, an energetic Jeongin on his tail. “What the hell are you guys doing? You sound like you’ve been inhaling truckloads of laughing gas.”

“Hey, laughing isn’t all that bad. I’d advise you to try it sometime,” Minho suggested, then snapped the file he was holding shut. Changbin simply glared at him.

“Man, you look really shitty though.” Jisung frowned as he took in the sight of his friend. “How many hours of sleep did you get last night?”

“30 minutes,” Changbin grumbled, Chan wincing in response. “I swear that at this point my bloodstream is 80% coffee and 15% tea.”

Jeongin wrinkled his nose, distasteful. “You drink coffee and tea interchangeably? Why not just drink hot chocolate?”

Changbin’s nose wrinkled in a similar expression of disgust. “Too sweet. Coffee is bitter enough to keep me awake for longer periods of time, and tea simultaneously keeps me awake and calms me down.” He pinned the younger boy with his stare. “No hot chocolate.”

“Boo,” Jeongin said with a pout. “You’re missing out.”

As Jisung and Minho chorused their own opinions on the matter - Jisung was all for hot chocolate, while Minho was notorious for his strange obsession with all different kinds of tea - Chan watched Changbin worriedly. “Are you sure you’re okay though? I can get Seungmin to cover for you if you want to rest.”

Changbin shook his head sleepily, stretching as he did so. “Nah, I’m good. I can probably stay up for another -” he yawned, nearly tipping over from exhaustion.

“Five minutes?” Jisung teased, though Chan could tell he was genuinely worried for his friend.

“Five minutes,” Changbin agreed, defeated.

The ghost of a smile graced Chan’s lips as he stood up from his desk. “Well, I guess we’d better get into position, then.”

 

Minho ended up joining them anyway, despite technically not being a part of this mission. Thankfully, he was a relatively fast learner, and Chan was impressed to say the least when he found Minho had memorized his character profile and general mission in the time it took them to get to their destination.

“Why is he here again?” Jisung grumbled when Minho changed the channel on the radio for the fifth time.

“He’s doing a better job than I would,” came Seungmin’s voice over their earpieces. He had been the one originally assigned to that particular role, and Chan had seen firsthand how nervous the boy had been. Seungmin was notorious for his excellent work behind the scenes, but when he was on the front line? Not so much.

“I’m sure you did equally as well in your preparation,” Hyunjin reassured from his side of the comms.

“Preparation-wise, yes. But I already knew that I was going to fuck up the moment I stepped into that building.”

“Watch your fucking language,” Changbin mumbled. He yawned mid-sentence, causing Chan to yawn with him.

“Both of you,” Chan chastised after recovering from his own exhaustion. “Jeongin’s still on the comms.”

“It’s okay!” Jeongin replied quickly. “People swear all the time at school, so I’m pretty much used to it at this point.”

There was a moment of silence before Jeongin tentatively asked, “...Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Minho replied. “But I think your school is. Who do they think they are - contaminating the baby?”

“Well, think about it,” Seungmin reasoned. “Who didn’t swear in junior year?”

“Fair point.”

By now the car had pulled up to a building; made out of stone with several arched windows, the grand building was easily one of the most architecturally fascinating things Chan had ever seen. If only Woojin was here to see this…

“Damn. That’s a museum,” Minho remarked.

Jisung tutted disapprovingly. “If only you had paid attention to the photos I so painstakingly collected in my report, you wouldn’t be so surprised by this!”

“I saw your photos, dumbass. I just didn’t think it’d be so… big.”

Chan couldn’t help but agree. And considering the soft ‘oh shit…’ that sounded in his ear, he was sure Hyunjin agreed as well. 

From the information they’d gathered, Chan knew that this wasn’t the most famous museum. Not even close. One of the only geology museums in their city, many people claimed they had no business in a ‘rock museum’. Had he known the exterior was so architecturally exquisite, he might’ve given it a chance.

“I wonder why the dude has a meeting at this place, though,” Jeongin mused thoughtfully. “Doesn’t he work in the finance market? Why would he ask his accomplice to meet him here?”

“Probably for the general lack of people. He’s trying to stay low.” Jisung brought the car to a stop next to the sidewalk.

“Is everyone ready?” The familiar thrum of anticipation before a heist overwhelmed Chan’s senses as he said this, his fingers drumming excitedly on his leg. “Our team is in position.”

“Ready.”

“Ditto!”

“Affirmative.” (Leave it to Seungmin to pull out the big words).

“Perfect.” The same grin that had appeared on Chan’s face back in the office was seen once again.

Chan and Minho were quickly dropped off at the front before Jisung drove off to a safer position to help monitor the situation from his own tablet. He’d serve as backup - a job normally left to at least two people, but Woojin had been unable to make it due to (actual) health reasons. Jisung had assured he would manage on his own. Chan just hoped that he could follow through.

Stepping into the museum, Chan walked boldly towards the receptionist - in this case, a girl by the name of ‘Mina’ - saying, “Hi, my name’s Jaehwan? I ordered tickets for me and my friend.”

Mina frowned. “I don’t remember there being any reservations for today. I can check for your name though…” At this, she moved to her computer to do a quick search, but Chan quickly stopped her.

“I booked this a while ago, so it might not be in any recent entries. Maybe try looking through some older files?” He gave her a bright smile, trying not to wince as he did so. Mina really had no reason to do as he asked - it literally made no sense as there was already such a little amount of people coming here, but Mina also really had no reason to question his request. Giving him a strange look, she shrugged and went further back into the office.

Upon her departure, Chan quickly made his way over to insert the USB stick Changbin had coded for him into the port. He was told that the transfer only took about a minute - he just hoped that Mina’s search would take even a second or two longer.

It took approximately five minutes for Mina to come back, looking no less confused than she had when she’d left; it took Chan almost exactly one minute to finish the job.

“I’m sorry, I can’t seem to -” her eyes trailed to her monitor, stopping short. “Oh. Jaehwan, was it? Ah I’m sorry, I didn’t see this earlier.”

“Oh!” Chan feigned a look of pleasant surprise - there was, after all, a reason he’d gotten a 97 average in Drama. “Well, I guess it wasn’t back there after all.”

“Yeah, don’t listen to him,” Minho chimed in. “He acts smart and all but in reality the guy has absolutely no idea what he’s doing.” (For the sake of staying in character, Chan had merely rolled his eyes, but he made a mental note to get his revenge when they got back).

Mina chuckled. “He’s not the only one. Enjoy your day at the museum.”

“We will.” Minho’s own grin was one that Chan recognized; it tended to appear whenever he was in the vicinity of possible interests, and Chan dragged him away after bidding a quick farewell to the girl. “Wha - Chan!”

“Flirt with the ladies later. We have a task at hand here. And besides, Jisung’s going to be freaking pissed,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing important.” Chan fiddled with his earpiece to adjust it to a better position. “Seungmin? Status check.”

“Oh, yeah. (Changbin’s asleep, by the way, so if you hear obnoxious snoring, that’s why). Hyunjin and Jeongin are in position - really Jeongin? I know you’re in a coffee shop, but did you really have to buy an extra cup of hot chocolate for yourself? - the receptionist lady is completely oblivious, and our target is nearing the meeting place.” He paused, then added, “Also Woojin told me to tell you to stay safe. Something about promising him a card game -?”

Chan tried not to grow too flustered at the last part. Really? Woojin was caught up over a game of Go Fish? But he cleared his throat and decided to ignore it. “Okay. Time?”

“We’re actually ahead of schedule, thanks to your smooth interaction with the receptionist. You guys are going to have to mill around and act unsuspecting before you make your move because our Bad Guy #2 is nowhere in sight.”

“Wow - us? Ahead of time? Who’d have thought?”

Jisung’s snarky comment was enough to make Minho snort beside Chan. Receiving a confused expression from the older boy, Minho just shrugged, seemingly saying ‘he has a point’ before walking briskly in some random direction.

“Oh god. Someone remind me why Minho came with?” Chan muttered as he trailed after his friend. “I’m tempted to just ditch him at this point.” (He decided to ignore Jisung’s continuous chants of ‘Do it! Do it! Do it!’)

“I heard that,” came Minho’s pointed comment, although he didn’t actually sound particularly offended.

“Hey, at least you guys actually get to wait inside the museum,” Hyunjin groaned. Chan could hear the faint noises of cars and crowds in the background. “I’m literally waiting in a shady alley! And trust me, I know when an alley is shady.”

“Of course you do.” Chan wasn’t even going to ask.

“Man, I wish Changbin was still awake,” Minho murmured. “I probably could’ve gotten some of this explained to me.”

Chan snorted. Finally catching up to Minho, he was surprised to find him bent over, trying to make sense of the short description placed next to the dazzling amethyst showcased in front of them. “What do you think Changbin is, some kind of geology expert?”

“Expert enough. At least in comparison to the lot of us.”

“Fair.”

“Well he’s out cold,” Seungmin told them, his voice laced with an undertone of worry. “I wrapped him in two blankets but I don’t think he’s going to be giving any rock lectures any time soon.”

Chan’s heart twinged at the thought of his friend. Changbin had always overworked himself, but this time he’d really pushed himself to the edge. “Take care of him, Seungmin.”

“Will do.”

They then elapsed into a quiet atmosphere - there were no sounds over the comms, save the occasional noises of keyboard clicks and bustling streets (there was also a point in which their ears were flooded with an awful static-y sound to which Jeongin had immediately apologized for, having nearly dropped his hot chocolate after being rudely bumped into). It was a rare moment considering the seven of them were usually all over the place, but Chan revelled in the serenity for once.

Said serenity was promptly broken, however, when Seungmin and Hyunjin both said: “His accomplice is approaching.”

Minho flinched. He’d been oddly engrossed in his study of the gemstones on display, and Chan could help but notice that he even seemed a bit irritated by the distraction. “Well that was creepy. But thanks for the double heads-up.”

“Shut up, just get into position.”

“Is he approaching from your side, Hyunjin?” Chan asked hurriedly. He and Minho had roughly seven rooms to cross before they got to their destination.

“Yup. I’m right on his tail. Man this bastard walks fast -”

“Physical description?” Seungmin said, equally as rushed. Now there was definitely the sound of constant keyboard clicks.

“I’d say about six feet? He has brown hair and a light brown trench-coat. And he’s holding the coffee cup.”

“Shit. Nothing else?”

“None. I’m following him so I can’t get a read on his face, either.” Hyunjin cursed again, clearly agitated. “Why does he look like every other six-foot dude with a trench-coat? I can hardly keep track of him in all these people.”

“Yeah, I can’t figure out who he is.” Chan could already imagine the annoyed look on Seungmin’s face. “I’m trusting you guys to give me a better description when you see him.”

“Fuck. We’ll try.” (Let’s just say that Chan isn’t known for his memory skills).

Slowly they got closer to the rendezvous place; upon reaching the room, Minho had beckoned Chan to hide behind a statue with him. “Really? A fucking statue? This isn’t going to hide us!”

“It’ll hide us enough. At least this way we can stay in range.”

Grumbling but finding no better alternative, Chan peeked his head around the other side. Standing there by a granite statue of something that looked oddly similar to a Coca-Cola can - Chan had never related to a sculpture so much in his life - was Chan’s ‘boss’, the man he had been conversing with earlier: Lee Jooheon, one of the most renowned entrepreneurs of his generation. In the three months Chan had worked with him, this was the first time he’d seen him look anxious.

“The way he’s looking around - could he be any less subtle?” Minho mumbled, eyes trained on the man. “For a second I thought he actually knew we were here, but he hasn’t even looked in this direction. He clearly has no idea what he’s doing.”

Chan snorted. “Well I guess not everyone has gone through as much elite training as us.”

“‘Elite training’? More like the thousands upon thousands of stupid scenario training you made us go through!”

“And look where you are now! Being able to critique other people’s capability through mere stance. Who needs Changbin and his geology expertise when you can be Minho and obtain his spy expertise?”

“No, stop, you sound like a proud dad.”

“I pretty much raised you.”

Minho responded to this with a kick, then quickly regained composure, the two of them put back to seriousness upon seeing the arrival of a new factor; the ‘accomplice’, as they had dubbed him.

He looked exactly as Hyunjin had described him - roughly six feet tall with a light brown trench-coat, although now that they could see him from the front, Minho rapidly relayed any other information before they forgot anything. “He’s got pink circle sunglasses and a black tux. He has a handkerchief in his pocket.”

There was silence from the other end as Seungmin typed everything out. “Is that good?” Chan asked.

“Uh… should be. If I hack into the security cameras I could probably get a picture scan… or you guys could be extra helpful and catch a name for me.”

“If they’re dumb enough to use their actual names, then yes.”

That question was answered quickly as the Accomplice strolled up casually. “Jooheon! I haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”

Despite the friendly opening, Jooheon seemed not at all happy to be there. “Cut the sweet talk. I’m on a time limit, so we’ve only got five minutes. Spill.”

The Accomplice tutted. “I’m going to need the money first.”

Chan watched as Jooheon reluctantly produced an envelope from his bag. From the way he held it, Chan knew it contained a hefty value. “Here. Five minutes.”

Humming, the Accomplice put the money in his own bag. “17 Ice.”

The words hung there for a while, the tension growing thicker the longer silence reigned. “... 17 Ice? That’s all you have to tell me? What does it mean? Is it a code? An address? TELL ME!”

“You said in the email that I was to tell you all I know.” The Accomplice came off as calm, although there was an undeniable sharp twinge to it now - he was getting on edge, and Chan could only hope Hyunjin didn’t appear at the wrong time. “I only have so much information, Jooheon.”

“YOU SICK BASTARD!” At that, Jooheon leaped forward, promptly tackling the accomplice - or at least attempting to, as the Accomplice side-stepped, making Jooheon fall forwards.

Chan and Minho exchanged looks of confusion. What was happening? They had known the two didn’t have an extremely positive relationship, but it hadn’t been as bad as this.

And how to change a bad situation? Add Hwang Hyunjin.

The boy stepped into the room, looking somewhat confused. Chan wasn’t sure if he actually was or not, but he pulled it off well either way. Eyes landing on the two men in the center of the room, his eyes lit up as he walked over. “Hey, it’s you! I recognize you from the coffee shop. And I think you have my coffee cup…”

The Accomplice blinked in confusion before checking his cup. “I don’t believe I… oh. Are you Lee Daehwi?”

Perfect. Jeongin had pulled off the switch in his stay at the shop. Hyunjin still maintained a cheery face and voice, saying, “I am! And it’s fine, the barista was really apologetic about the whole ordeal. First day jitters and all.” His eyes drifted to Jooheon, who was clearly still agitated about what had just happened but was desperately trying to contain his anger for the sake of his image. “Oh! You’re Lee Jooheon! I see you all the time in the finance section of the newspapers.”

“Huh?” Caught off guard, it took the man a few seconds to process what Hyunjin - or rather, Daehwi - had said. “Oh… yeah. That’s me. Look kid, I think you should get out of here -”

“My dad talks about you all the time! Do you think I could get an autograph to show him?”

Chan was desperately trying to keep his laughter in at this point. Hyunjin had completely changed the atmosphere - he was in complete control of what everyone there was doing, and at this point he was really just toying with them. He watched as Jooheon tried to act decent as he scribbled his name on the notepad Hyunjin conveniently had with him and awkwardly waved when Hyunjin bid them goodbye.

Hyunjin caught sight of them on his way out and gave them the thumbs up, mouthing, I got his account information, leaving Chan and Minho to make their final move.

They stayed there for another minute or so, watching the two men angrily resolve their problems for the time-being. Hyunjin’s appearance had cost them about two minutes, forcing Jooheon to leave soon. “This isn’t over. I have backup. You get me more information by our next meeting or else I’m taking you down.”

The Accomplice tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Hm. That might’ve been a rather effective threat except for the fact that you can’t get me arrested without taking yourself down, too. And I’m sorry to break it to you, Jooheon, but you and I both know you don’t have the guts to go through with that.”

Jooheon’s face went pale. “You - you know nothing.”

“Sure I don’t.” The other man sighed in mock defeat. “Well, I guess I can’t keep you from your work. I’ll be heading off.” He gave Jooheon a smug grin. “Until next time, Jooheon.”

“Fuck off.”

A few seconds after the Accomplice had made his leave, Jooheon was left to himself. Disgruntled and confused, he let out an irritated noise, kicking whatever candy wrapper someone had left on the ground. Chan took that moment to call him.

Jooheon looked at his phone screen to see who could possibly be calling him on his break, but quickly changed his face upon realizing it was Byung Chan. 

“Hey Byung Chan, can this wait? I’m -”

“Hey boss! I just wanted to let you know I sent the assignment from yesterday to you. I just thought you should check your email. You know I can’t stand emails since I can’t tell if the recipient has seen it or not.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you. I’ll make sure to check my email.”

Smiling at each other, Chan and Minho promptly made their leave, proud of a job well done.

Because what Jooheon didn’t know was that in his inbox wouldn’t be an email with the assignment attached, but rather an email notifying him that $10 million had been transferred from his bank account to a certain Byung Chan.

**Author's Note:**

> I HOPE YOU LIKED THAT MESS LOL i actually quite enjoyed writing it!! so yeahhh part 2 is hella likely at this point  
> feedback is much appreciated!! (but you don't have to lolol i'm just glad people read my work in the first place)


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